Crafting History

Let me tell you a little about my crafting history.

Long, long time ago in a southern province in China, there lived a 40 year-old bloke named Bob. One day, he decided to have some fried noodles for lunch. Well, he wasn’t very hungry so he started using his chopsticks to play with his food. Five minutes later, he realised he’s picked up knitting. Wait a minute, that’s the wrong story.

The right story began in the bedroom of a 7 year-old girl. For the past three hours, she has been struggling with a school arts and craft assignment. It was a recycling project and she was supposed to make use of some empty toilet rolls, cardboard backings of notebooks and pieces of coloured paper and make them into something. Anything. Our little girl here was born without the crafting gene and nobody could tell what the heck the lump (it was supposed to be a train) she has made was supposed to be. She started bawling. All she wanted to do was watch Sesame Street. Her doting father decided to give her a hand and told Daddy’s little girl to go to bed.

This was what she woke up to in the morning:

Fancy Schmancy TrainNeedless to say, she got an A.When the little girl with no crafting gene turned 14, she decided to pick up crocheting. She got herself a little instruction book and managed to make a chain so long that if Rapunzel ever suffered from severe hair loss, she’s welcome to use the chain to let that handsome dude up the tower. After a while, she got bored with the endless chain and tossed the book in a corner.

Five years later, she got herself another instruction book. This time, she was going to learn how to knit. Well, she never even got past casting on and the book was banished to the same dark corner as the crochet book.

Fast forward to ten years later. The girl (now a woman but still without the elusive crafting gene) has discovered online instruction videos. She has since managed to crochet a bag (thunderous applause, please). As for knitting… let’s just say she’s still learning. One day, she’ll learn how not to poke herself in the belly button with the knitting needles while she attempts to produce a piece of knitted… something.

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